In this blog post I will explain the story behind my Ultimate Black theme project. Generally the project itself is mostly storytelling therefore I may change the story as my project develops but right now, this is the story. I have used some images I drew to illustrate the story.
Every 24 hours divide into a day and a night. The day is when a person goes to school/work and meets other people. The night is the scary time. A person is left by themselves with their thoughts, their anxiety and their imagination. All that stress that cumulates during the day can be let out at night. Someone who may seem not to have any problems, may struggle with huge issues but they hide it well. People who are least expected to struggle with depression or anxiety are the ones that really need help.
In a world just like that there was a girl whose name was Esmeray, her name was not a coincidence, it does mean 'dark moon' in Turkish. A mysterious girl with a name of a mysterious meaning. That girl seemed to everyone to be nothing but perfect. She posted about her perfect life online daily. She made everyone jealous of her.
She always wore flawless makeup, always the trendiest clothes and has her hair was tied perfectly. Everyone wished they were her. She was not only very pretty, but she was also intelligent and came from a wealthy family. People expected so much of her everyday. Everyone was just waiting for her new post online or for her fantastic school results. No one expected her to be upset because it seemed like she had no reason to ever be sad or cry. Why would a girl who has everything cry.
She would constantly go on vacations and get new clothes that were always so trendy. Everyone was admiring her so much that she started to feel like she has to do it all to please everyone around her. She was not happy with herself anymore. She was staying up all night studying for tests she did not care about, because she felt like she would let others down if she didn't have a perfect score. She was scared of being annoying, so she would not tell people how she was feeling. She would put on a fake smile and carry on having the perfect life everyone would dream of. Everyone other than herself. She felt like she was in the public eye all day every day.
The moment no one was looking, she was breaking down. There was so much anxiety in her little body because of the pressure she was exposed to, daily. A night was a time for her to reflect on the day and look at what she has accomplished. She would look at her instagram posts where she shows her happy self, and she would cry. She would cry because those moments that she was posting online about were all so fake. She would cry because she was not happy with herself and with what she was doing and she would cry because she was feeling hopeless. She did not know how to escape the vicious circle of her being sad because of the things she does but needing to do it all to please everyone around her.
In the dark she was a completely different person. This was when all her demons were escaping her body and they were just spending time together. Her alone with her anxiety, all her fears, all the little things that were upsetting her, all the panic caused by the feeling she needs to be perfect at all times. She was surrounded by demons that she could not deal alone with. It was all in her head and it was destroying her from the inside.
Days were passing by and all her nights looked exactly the same, but day by day she had less and less strength to fight the demons. What she needed was a person who would listen to her. A person who would explain her that it is okay not to be okay. No one can be happy 100% of the time. It was something that she did not understand. She thought that something was wrong with her and the truth is was that nothing was wrong with her; it was just her mind that created those demons that were scaring her.
The girl's mental health was getting worse every day to the point that she just could not carry on like that. There were two options that she saw one would end tragically and the other needed her to at least realize that professional help would help her feel better. This girl made a decision that took a lot of courage from her and she asked to see a therapist and that is the happy end she deserved.
Not every person can get themselves to ask for help because of the stigma surrounding mental health and therapy that these are just made up problems people 'pretend' to have to gain attention. The truth is, everyone has their own problems and everyone can need guidance how to overcome those problems.
The night in this story represents the time when the mental problems only grow in size and they become unbearable. This story is created to raise awareness of it being okay not to be okay and normalizing therapy and having mental health problems.
These sketches are good - much edgier, I understand they are not finished, but this style is an interesting diversion from the clean lines of last terms project. Perhaps there is a case for using one style for daytime, another for night-time. I have experience of conversations about night and day and the differences and what they mean with our children. Looking at this subject through a child's eyes is a good idea, particularly as you state that uncertainty and anxiety about the dark.
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